Understanding Who I Was Poem by mona martinez

do i look like the kind of girl,
who wants just anybody?
will do anything for the attention,
of a guy?
who will put her own needs on hold,
just to make somebody else happy?
i admit that for a while i was,
i was lost in the past,
i thought the things was what i wanted,
only to find that i lost myself completely,
everything i wanted,
was everything i didn't want,
it was just like the past,
i tricked myself into believing,
it was what i wanted,
just like my abuser,
i was led into believe by guys,
this is all i was good for,
still easy to be tricked,
but i'm slowly learning that,
that is not who i have to be,
i don't have to be every guy dream,
i just need to be me,
i don't need to be popular with guys,
i just need one guy who understands me,
for who i am,
and enjoy who i am,
just for being me.