Unlicensed Whale Poem by Sebastian Seal

To seals a whale is a taxi,
It carries us to foreign shores,
In more comfort than a Morris Maxi.
And with more reliable doors.

Within the tummy of the whale,
We are protected from sharks and squid,
To warmer climes we head,
From the cold, farewell we bid.

It's best to travel on a licensed whale,
They are much more careful swimmers,
The other lot are dangerously fast,
Even worse than garden strimmers.

But I've bought a cheap seat,
It's on an unlicensed whale.
I hope getting round the Cape,
Isn't destined to fail.

We hurtle down the North Sea,
Through the English Channel.
Barely missing a P&O,
But somehow collecting a camel.

The whale is going far too fast,
It tries to round the Cape,
Flippers screeching, rolling over,
It's far too late to brake.

We are out of control,
An on-coming whale is surprised,
A head-on collision is inevitable.
No amount of hope will disguise.

There's a crunching of skulls,
As they meet their impediment.
Both whales are write-offs,
Sinking to the sediment.

All the passengers escape,
Us seals are a hardy bunch.
But we're in shark infested waters,
And don't want to be for lunch.

We swim to the shore,
We reach Zaire.
We promise that in future,
We'll pay a proper fare.