Unsettled Poem by christina Evans

I live in a box. I live in a box with no ventilation. Slowly, I will die in this box. It is summer time again and there is nothing left for me. I can’t make the world stop or drop. Imprisoned by fear. Let me out. Someone please let me out. Turn the key and set me free. There once was a boy that understood me. I obliterated him with just one kiss and you may be next. You were my dream. You were my wish. You were something special. It is impossible to change the way I am.
I can’t turn the sky green.
I can’t make something out of nothing
I can’t grow flowers without dirt
And I can’t give up just because it hurts.

I want to believe in something magical. I cannot fight the inevitable. My heart is blue. My body is black. Loneliness is a slow death that cuts through your skin. I am drying up. Each month I bleed less and less. And it is summer time again and there is nothing left for me. There is nothing here for me. I resort to suffocation in this box I live in.


I can’t fight fire without water.
I can’t love you anymore than I do.
I can’t change all that I have done
And I can’t stop loving you just because I am in too deep

Isn’t it true that we all want what we can’t have? I taste what I can't ever have. I am unsteady and trembling with blood on my hands from that summer. The walls are thickening and the ceiling is crumbling. The windows are closed and the door is now shut. Please let me out of this cage. I am not a wild animal. I want to be set free from this rage burning inside of me.

I can’t build a fire without wood.
I can’t love someone who is attached
I can’t build a pod into an ocean
And I can’t expect more than you are willing to offer

Give me a reason to stay and I will give you a reason to pray. I am unsettled. Only love can settle me. Only you will settle me. My hands hold onto these steel bars tightly.