Untitled1 Poem by Adalie Hettie

I trusted myself with you completely.
It’s still there, the burn-
When I think of you it becomes heated.
I think of how you deceived me,
And how I was treated, undeserved-
Worn on my sleeve was the love for you
Still you lashed out and I retreated.
My wounds became deep
I tried to ignore,
To turn a cheek.
Knowing how you lied,
It’s the pain I remember
The blow it delivered,
The knots in my stomach-
They bled and I cried.
Something hiding, small-
I can barely see it.
It's here- front and center
Waiting for me on that lonely pier.
I will jump in, cleanse my soul.
I will be free of you, let me go.
Understanding I will be given.
Healing for so long I’ve needed.
I am no more ashamed, no longer waiting
I am ready and wanting to receive it.
I look for you from afar
I see through squinted eyes,
It burdens my senses,
There you are!
Searching for someone, anyone.
Again, doing it with a darkened heart.
You try to think, but your actions steal
You can focus no more.
Now- you sit so hopeless on that bench.
I see you acknowledge and take it all in
While drowning in your pitiful stench.
It must be hard for you to maintain-
I can’t comprehend living like you, lying like you
I can’t fathom never becoming a man like you.
Drink up that fine liquid courage.
For every night which you partake,
It’s cowardly you will feel in the morning,
Should that lie allow you to wake.
Drink up that evil liquid-
The one where you place all your blame.
Needing that one thing, but having nothing-
A cloak, a cover
Something to hide your shame.