Great thing about Haikus is how interpretable they are and this one is especially so. Cant help noticing that the 1st things (a blade -that is specifically- verdant) are pinpointed in what they are and are dealt with singulary thus maximising the focus and specific nature inhereted from the words. But it is contrasted with a vague mention of hills which also cleverly make us think of large distances and the blood is described simply as coloured. To make it fruity you put another contrast in it: death (1st) and then with life (2nd) .. It is interesting to think about the implications of the contrast and any common similarities.
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Great thing about Haikus is how interpretable they are and this one is especially so. Cant help noticing that the 1st things (a blade -that is specifically- verdant) are pinpointed in what they are and are dealt with singulary thus maximising the focus and specific nature inhereted from the words. But it is contrasted with a vague mention of hills which also cleverly make us think of large distances and the blood is described simply as coloured. To make it fruity you put another contrast in it: death (1st) and then with life (2nd) .. It is interesting to think about the implications of the contrast and any common similarities.