Weight Loss Poem by david lessard

Step right up, and try this diet,
Here's the book, step up and buy it;
The cure for all your common ills;
It's the wonder foods and wonder pills.

If you don't lose ten pounds in days,
We'll offer other magic, in other ways,
I guarentee that you will lose weight,
(and you just might meet your true mate) .

Shed all those huge, unwanted pounds,
Make contented noises, sweetend sounds,
You'll be the ultimate object of desire,
You'll set hearts aflame and souls on fire.

You'll see you, the you you did intend,
You'll move with style and grace again,
That tummy will mysteriously disappear,
Your toes will suddenly be quite near.

And if you buy this spiel I'm saying,
Why then, I'll just stop my braying,
For twenty-nine, ninety-five, it's yours,
The way to happiness is though these doors.