When I Die Poem by yabadabadoo

I sit in the car,
Waiting,
Hating,
Burning with coldness.
A car zooms by and I almost jump in front of it,
But i don't,
So instead i just think of what would have happened.

First i would have returned to the murder scene.
And watch as my father lay's his eyes upon my limp body.
I would see how my brother takes the news.
Will they cry?
What will they regret?
How will they go on living?

Then, to my mothers house i will float.
She will get the call
And cry.
Maybe.
What will she wish she had done differently?
Will she sleep to escape?
How long will it be until she tells my friends?

How long will Madeline have red eyes?
Who will Zach kick?
Will Ali dance the pain away?
Will Elena feel my absence?
Will Reilly be stunned into silence?
And will Adam cry his never ending tears?

When they go through my room what will they find?
What will they do when they find this bloody book?
Will they gasp when they see the razor?
They will find my password, and read my Will.
They will give my life away.

Who will arrive at my funeral?
What will they wear?
I will watch as they weep,
With a sick grin on my face.
But then,
At the coming sleep over,
WIll they laugh?

How long will it take to forget me?
Will it be better without me?
What if they have more fun after i die?
I will be pushed to the back of their minds,
Watching and waiting
As they forget
The one who was their 'friend'.

I wIll not regret,
I will not hurt,
I will have died without even a first kiss,
HE will not know how i feel about him,
And my hair will have pooy brown roots.
All feeling will cease,
I will watch as my people die
One by one.
I will watch as the world slowly stops spinning,
And each mouton collapse.
I will watch,
And think.
But i will not let myself feel ever again
Because that is what got me here in the first place.
And i will be stuck with the pain,
In limbo,
In purgatory,
In the wilderness,
And i will be all alone this time.
No book and pen,
No razor blade,
And worst-
No Friends.