Where Are You...? Poem by Lyndsey Grant

Numb
Envelopes my fingers and steadily moves into tingling
Sensations
And there it is again my chest beats with fear of not knowing what to expect
Where are you?
Why haven’t you been the light that illuminates my loneliness?
Have you grown bored with me this quick?
And just like us
Turbulence meshed with comfort
I feel uncomfortable giving a damn
I’m the one who did the exiting
Brief encounters that chased me out of shadowed rooms
Felt claustrophobic
Maybe that’s why I always left too soon
But now I graze on the days
When it came like the air
Always there
Just not seen to the human eye
Beyond vision
Aesthetic feelings
Felt better than seeing
Where are you?
Are you okay?
Are you thinking of me?
I put you out of my mind for a moment
And then you creep back into the corner
At first
Slightly gnawing on brain matter
That is waiting to become dead cells
Soon one bite turns into glutton
And there you are sucking on the marrow of my mind
As if I didn’t think about you enough before
As if I wasn’t already unsure
Before
As if I can’t see my self without you
Anymore
Sometimes it feels lonelier with you
Then when I was without
You
Where are you?
Rather
Where do I fit with you?