White Cotton Undies Poem by maggie signaigo

Parochial school
and little plaid skirts
White cotton undies
Inadvertent flirts
You gotta be careful
when you go to sit down
and keep your knees together
If boys are around

Or they might sneak a peek
and giggle like the devil
Defining their interest
and maturity level
The nuns tried to teach us
in hygiene class
How to sit like a lady
Be a respectable lass

Now I paid close attention
Made notes in my book
So boys wouldn’t see my undies
If they fancied a look
Sister Mary had a theory
Cross first, and then squat
All bases were covered
No beavers were shot

We must have looked silly
We didn’t have a prayer
Falling over backwards
with our butts in the air
Hours of practice
Bruises slow to heal
This lady-like thing
sure lost it’s appeal

I don’t do it today
Their teachings in vain
Try it sometime
You’ll feel my pain
But I, for one…
Will never forget
How to cross my legs
before I sit.