Why Grandma? Poem by WENDY KAY TADDAY

WELL GRAM WHY AM I IN SO MUCH PAIN EVERY DAY, I LOVE MY LIFE BUT I REALLY HATE LIVING
THIS WAY.
WAS I BAD WHEN I WAS YOUNGER?
WAS I MEAN TO GRAMPA OR YOU?
I KNOW I DID SOME THINGS I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT, LIKE SLAMMING THE CAR DOOR AND BREAKING THE WINDOW, OR WHEN I STOLED COLLECTIABLE WHISKY BOTTLES FROM PAPAS CLOSET
WHAT WAS I THINKING, MAYBE THAT'S WHY GOD IS DOING THIS TO ME
I AM JUST TRYING TO PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER
SOMETHING IS JUST NOT RIGHT HERE
IT SEEMS LIKE GOD IS TRYING TO GET BACK AT ME FOR SOMETHING I HAVE DONE BECAUSE HE HASN'T GIVIN ME A BREAK FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.
EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP IN PAIN, AGONY, AND FEAR, AND ITHINK AND TELL MY SELF
JUST QUIT BEING SUCH A BABY, BECAUSE GOD COULD HAVE TAKEN ME SEVERAL TIMES, BUT I AM STILL HERE. HE MUST NOT BE READY FOR ME UP THERE YET BECAUSE HE HAD PLENTY OF TIMES TO TAKE ME.
YES GRAM I AM SCARED SO SCARED OF DYING SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY HE DID NOT TAKE ME BUT YET I HAVE TO SUFFER WITH ALL THIS WHY WOULD HE DO THIS TO SOMEONE LIKE ME I HAVE NOT HURT ANYONE IF ANYTHING I HAVE HELPED PEOPLE.
I MET THE LORD LASTNIGHT HE WAS IN MY TIME OF PRAYER.
THOUGH I KNOW HE CANT TALK BACK
I FELT HIS PRESENCE THERE….

I LOVE YOU GRAM