Let me not be sure and for it not to matter.
Sometimes when I am a hundred percent certain; there is nothing
I can do about it. Because it is not my job nor profession to do such.
And yet it has vacuumed up a part of me. And I bet some part of me
thinks about it all the time. Or at least far too often. And it is so repressed.
And I tell people a lot about me, sometimes; sometimes it takes some time.
But that I will never tell anybody. Because I did not know what to do.
Because I could not believe it. Believe me it was bad. So bad I am unable
to speak regarding. I am unable to say. I am unable to tell.
I don't know what could be done about it.
It was so long ago by now. And what I am trapped by is something
I've put front and center by choice possibly…..to avoid something
I know I will not tell anybody about.
Why should I?
The estranged suffering would only be worse.
For somebody to know that I am struggling with that….?
It would only make it harder on me.
And why do that? I won't do that.
And I have no idea in what ways you would think it has
changed my personality now. So much for the worse……yes?
Widowhood is not a stain, it is not a stigma... it is just a lonely stage on the long road of life.
This soliloquy is first rate, the delivery is outstanding! Reminds me of Hamlet's " to be or not to be" . But having said that, you must not consider your secret burden to be a stigma. Trust your friends and even strangers not to judge you by what happened in the past. The " Yes" in your life is more important than the " No" .
Well, Chito- that compliment enlightened me as to the sense of it. Interesting that you compared it with Hamlet's soliloquy. I love that comparison. When I read it knowing that as you've told me, I understood it more clearly and could speak it with so much more sincerity. Thanks again, Chito.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Outstanding! This poem is really outstanding!