Young Love Poem by Beth Ann

Even though I know
you never felt the same way as I did
and all you were trying to do
was get your rocks off.

You were my first love.
But even though I was young and stupid.
I did love you in a way
that only someone that young can.

I will always remember you as cruel.
But I honestly think you were
just lost and hurt at the time.
I knew I was your rebound girl.
Even though I didn't want to believe it then.

I thought I deserved the cheating
the emotional abuse
and the attempt of assault
Because at the time I felt
worthless and unworthy of true love.

And at the time
you were just searching for someone
who could save your from yourself.
I'm sorry I wasn't that person.

But I won't apologize for
accusing you or how I reacted.
I know my actions weren't
the wisest or the kindest.
I was selfish and abusive in my own way.
But only because I was so broken
and I had already lost all the will to live
by the time you came around.

In a way.
I thinking dating you
was a way of punishing myself.
But at the same time
I really did believe
I loved you back then.

I wish you could see me now
and how strong i've become.
You can't hurt me anymore.
I'll try to forgive you.

Because I don't want to
live with bitterness in my heart.
But some days
I don't know if I can.