poor lil copycat

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**After reading my poem 'Simon Says, ' a few readers have requested that I extend it in length, so this poem is the second version that I am comparing to the original to see which is more successful. (You might want to read 'Simon Says' first to understand this better.) **

Simon says sing a song
Simon says stop
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Turning 12 is no party in the house
Turning 13 will be a sure louse
Turning 14 will be alot to handle
Turning 15 is no flame of the candle-
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Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But hurtful words
And evil deeds
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Oxymoron, reverse pyscology
Upside down, backwards
Back to front, inside out
Irony, homographs
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Is it perserverance
That makes us strive and achieve success?

Is it guilt
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***This poem is the lyrics to a really terrible-sounding song I wrote, I thought the words were half-decent so I decided to publish it here on Poemhunter...***

Walkin' down the street, come to school today
All rain, no shine, all work, no play
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Wake up, put a frown on my face
'Cause I'm gonna take the trip down to that evil 'school' place

We're gonna work and never be done
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If God really is looking down from above,
If He really does sprinkle the earth with His love,
Have I really done such a sin, such a crime,
That I must serve the punishment for all time?
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I thought you were my friend
But you left me sitting in the rain
I thought you were my friend
But you left me when I was in pain-
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I wonder how many
False smiles,
Wry grins, and
Hollow laughs
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People say we're freaks,
We're delinquents,
Bad influences,
Bad examples;
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If you think I'm extreme,
You haven't seen my friends.
If you think they're extreme,
You haven't seen the high-schoolers.
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My face says nothing,
My expression blank,
But you'd never tell
That my heart died.
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What?
What did you say?
S-M-I-L-E?
What's that?
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There's something missing in my life
What it is, I do not yet know
For now, I can only guess at it
And it might reveal itself somehow:
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These iPods, Walkmans, and MP3's,
Technology, the stuff of teens;

What they find so great in wires,
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