Randy Johnson Poems

(This is a fictional poem)

My feet are so big that I have to wear clown shoes.
People keep pointing and laughing, what am I going to do?
...

This is the month when the accomplishments of black people are celebrated.
But until around 1980 the schools in Morristown Tennessee were still segregated.
That was shocking and it wasn't right.
To get to be treated as equals, black people had to fight.
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A man was convicted for rape even though he didn't commit that crime.
He'll be branded a rapist for the rest of his life and that's a long time.
When this man slept with a woman, he promised to wear a condom but he did not.
He didn't deserve a rape conviction but that's what he got.
...

(I got the idea for this fictional poem from Me, myself & Irene.)

You cheated on me when we were on our honeymoon.
I was afraid that you'd cheat but I didn't know you'd do it that soon.
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When I was a child, I wasn't a good sport at losing.
I took a bat to the winning team and I gave them a good bruising.
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When I won a Yamaha motorcycle, I was really thrilled.
But I've had some wrecks that nearly got me killed.
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My cousin spits lots of saliva when he talks.
If you're near him, you'll slip on the floor when you walk.
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My daughter is only thirteen and you're twenty-two.
You seduced her and now I'm going to call the law on you.
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I bought my rotten stepson a Nintendo Wii.
But then the jerk also wanted me to buy him a Playstation 3.
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I have this noose around my neck because I stole a horse.
After you hang me, you won't even feel remorse.
You asked if I have anything to say so I'm saying it.
This is an evil law and you're evil for obeying it.
...