Randy Johnson Poems

(This is a true story)

When I saw a dead cat lying on the road, it made me feel bad.
This yellow cat had been killed by a car and it was very sad.
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My cousin spits lots of saliva when he talks.
If you're near him, you'll slip on the floor when you walk.
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When I won a Yamaha motorcycle, I was really thrilled.
But I've had some wrecks that nearly got me killed.
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When I was a child, I wasn't a good sport at losing.
I took a bat to the winning team and I gave them a good bruising.
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My daughter is only thirteen and you're twenty-two.
You seduced her and now I'm going to call the law on you.
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I bought my rotten stepson a Nintendo Wii.
But then the jerk also wanted me to buy him a Playstation 3.
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I have this noose around my neck because I stole a horse.
After you hang me, you won't even feel remorse.
You asked if I have anything to say so I'm saying it.
This is an evil law and you're evil for obeying it.
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I feel remorse because my friend did something that wasn't right.
He was running late one day so he didn't stop at the traffic lights.
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I'm going to tell you something that is true.
Help your fellow man and God will bless you.
Give money to the homeless or to kids in 3rd world countries.
Help your fellow man today and the Lord will be pleased.
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