Randy Johnson Poems

I've been smoke free for three months, that's a quarter of a year.
I quit because of health concerns, I quit before things became severe.
I've been quit for ninety-two days which is 2,208 hours.
All I needed was seven nicotine patches and some will power.
...

My papaw died twenty-five years ago today.
It's been a quarter of a century since he passed away.
When he took a new medication, he became sick.
When Papaw took it, he turned out to be allergic.
...

It made me very angry and people are stupid when they say it's no big deal.
If my uncle wasn't already dead, I'd murder him because of his damn will.
My relatives are too stupid to understand, it's a damn shame.
My uncle was a billionaire and all he left me was a video game.
...

It's that time of the month again, your rent is due.
You'd better pay up or I'll beat the hell out of you.
Don't try to get out of paying again, I don't want to hear an excuse.
Stop trying to get pity by saying you were a victim of sexual abuse.
...

We have very little money so we're living in our truck.
We are in need of shelter but sadly, we are out of luck.
My wife's dad offered to give us shelter but we had to obey his rules.
I turned him down, some people call me a rebel, others call me a fool.
...

A man murdered his stepdaughter and framed me for the crime.
I was arrested and found guilty by a jury and I had to do hard time.
He blew his stepdaughter's head off because she refused to sleep with him.
He tried everything he could to get what he wanted but she wouldn't give in.
...

When I went to Las Vegas, I lost all of my money and I also lost my wife's entire life savings.
I have no hair left on my body because she grabbed my electric razor and started shaving.
I told her to calm down and that she should be forgiving.
That really pissed her off and I'm lucky to still be living.
...

His name is Mario Mario and he was Nintendo's mascot.
He used to be Nintendo's biggest star but now he's not.
Nintendo fired Mario when they learned that he has a Playstation 4.
They didn't want an employee who plays the games of a competitor.
...

I adopted Agnes six years ago today.
She'll be my dog until she passes away.
I named my Chihuahua after my late mother.
She's my dog and I won't trade her for any other.
...