Randy Johnson Poems

Certain people hate the Wii U, they call it a piece of crap.
But I like the game console and I think it got a bum rap.
It's no XBOX One or PS4 but it's not an abomination.
I believe it was good and that's not an exaggeration.
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Even though you did me wrong, I've written a few poems about you.
You came in my house and stole some pills, that was a bad thing to do.
You also borrowed some money but didn't repay what you owed.
Sadly, you won't celebrate this Christmas because you died half a year ago.
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When I asked my wife what I was getting for Christmas, she kicked me in the balls.
That wasn't what I wanted for Christmas, that wasn't what I wanted at all.
When she kicked me down there, she said "Merry Christmas, mother ******".
When it came to choosing a good wife, I really blew it, I sure was a sucker.
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My Wife looks like she's pregnant but she's just fat.
People have been congratulating her and she hates that.
My father yelled Woo Wee! because he thought he was going to be a granddad.
But when he thought she was pregnant, she saw red because she was so mad.
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At midnight tonight, the second decade of the twenty-first century will be no more.
At midnight tonight, the third decade of the twenty-first century will be what's in store.
At midnight tonight, billions of people will welcome and celebrate the new year.
At midnight tonight, some will celebrate with champagne and others will celebrate with beer.
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Prohibition began one hundred years ago in the USA.
People had their right to drink booze taken away.
This made people unhappy and they began to whine.
And this caused Al Capone to start peddling moonshine.
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It was a meal that my late mom cooked but it sure didn't please.
Every New Year Day, Mom cooked hog jowls and black-eyed peas.
I always ate it but it was something that I didn't enjoy at all.
I would've rather had pizza, Domino's was who I should've called.
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He was my neighbor for over forty years and his name was Jim.
When I think about what a good man should be like, I think of him.
He and my uncle were former co-workers and friends.
It was sad when I learned that his life came to an end.
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The world lost a talented actor one year ago today.
After being on Earth for almost 83 years, he passed away.
He starred in 'Keeping Up Appearances' and 'The Old Guys'.
People also loved his performances in '1990' and 'Pack of Lies'.
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Every person on the Simpsons is sick and they will die.
They're suffering from Jaundice, that's the reason why.
Every fan of the Simpsons will have to nurse a broken heart.
They can say goodbye to Homer, Marge, Maggie, Lisa and Bart.
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