Randy Johnson Poems

I bought my newest dog one year ago, today is our first anniversary.
Last year, some nice people cut the price in half and sold him to me.
When I bought him, I only paid one hundred.
They sold me a Chihuahua and his name is Red.
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Today would've been Arthenia's birthday if she hadn't died.
Last year, I lost my aunt and my uncle lost his bride.
Arthenia died in 2018 and she was born in 1955.
She'd be celebrating her birthday if she was alive.
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A man has cancer and he has been given only six months to live.
Years ago, he did a man wrong and the parents and siblings are refusing to forgive.
He became angry because he lost at checkers and he evicted that poor man.
Even though he wants them to forgive, he said if they can't, he'll understand.
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Lots of people all over the world will celebrate the Yuletide.
This will be the seventh Christmas that has come around since you died.
We celebrated many Christmases together but we'll never do that again.
Christmas is a time for peace on Earth and goodwill to all men.
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Certain people hate the Wii U, they call it a piece of crap.
But I like the game console and I think it got a bum rap.
It's no XBOX One or PS4 but it's not an abomination.
I believe it was good and that's not an exaggeration.
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Even though you did me wrong, I've written a few poems about you.
You came in my house and stole some pills, that was a bad thing to do.
You also borrowed some money but didn't repay what you owed.
Sadly, you won't celebrate this Christmas because you died half a year ago.
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When I asked my wife what I was getting for Christmas, she kicked me in the balls.
That wasn't what I wanted for Christmas, that wasn't what I wanted at all.
When she kicked me down there, she said "Merry Christmas, mother ******".
When it came to choosing a good wife, I really blew it, I sure was a sucker.
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My Wife looks like she's pregnant but she's just fat.
People have been congratulating her and she hates that.
My father yelled Woo Wee! because he thought he was going to be a granddad.
But when he thought she was pregnant, she saw red because she was so mad.
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At midnight tonight, the second decade of the twenty-first century will be no more.
At midnight tonight, the third decade of the twenty-first century will be what's in store.
At midnight tonight, billions of people will welcome and celebrate the new year.
At midnight tonight, some will celebrate with champagne and others will celebrate with beer.
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Prohibition began one hundred years ago in the USA.
People had their right to drink booze taken away.
This made people unhappy and they began to whine.
And this caused Al Capone to start peddling moonshine.
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