Randy Johnson Poems

It's been a long time since we've had food and water.
I don't care about myself but please feed my daughter.
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I'm going to be in this hospital for awhile.
I spiked a watermelon like Sergeant Carter did on Gomer Pyle.
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You killed and cooked your son's pet bunny.
Now you laugh but it's not funny.
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You beat the crap out of me just because I sold your car.
I sold it so that I could buy some caviar.
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This morning my wife and I had a tiff.
I just lost my brakes and I'm about to drive over a cliff.
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When he starred in Gunsmoke, he truly blessed us.
I'm talking about Ken Curtis who starred as Festus.
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I should've known from the start that something wasn't right.
Last year I accidentally dated a transvestite.
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I did something that made me very sad.
I had to shoot my dog because she was mad.
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When I decided to go on this hike, I didn't know I would be bitten by a rattlesnake.
It bit the back of my leg a few minutes ago and now my life is at stake.
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God is great, God is number one.
He wants our lives to be meaningful and fun.
Everybody is special in the eyes of the Lord.
When we die, Heaven will be our reward.
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