it's morning, the room is already full of sunlight
outside birds sing in harmony
people cross the streets in hurry
and I'm still in bed
...
sometimes I stay by the stairways
only to observe people going up and down
I don't want to go through them
I just want to remember things I did so many times
...
we share the same body
but you won't answer my calls
in search for your forgiveness
I write you this letter
...
friends hanging out
drunk people driving
cars on high speed
big crash came by
...
the pain that paralysed me at once
made all sensation vanish
all motion stop
and imprisoned my soul
...
the afternoon in the park
birds singing on the trees
I stay by the jogging road
waiting for my friend to arrive
...
I get up from bed
I go to college
I reach something on the shelf
I go to work
...
once so gorgeous on high heels and miniskirt
dancing all night long
looking beautiful as birds mating
...
get up from bed
use the restroom
go downstairs for breakfast
run to get the phone
...
I wake up in the morning
I sit in my bed
I take the covers away
I see my legs still asleep
...
because I got hurt
my legs are powerless and won't walk again
rehabilitation is hard but necessary
exercise to regain some strength
...
the time since my life changed
made me live in a different way
now I do things the way I can
and I'm almost used to everything
...
I cannot talk, there is a tube through my throat
I cannot stay awake, the pain is too strong to handle
I cannot walk, my body is all broken
...
A friend comes to chat
I cannot get up to talk to him
Please, sit by my side
I don’t want to look up all the time
...
i am not really a poet and english is not my native language, i wrote those lines to show a little about myself. - In 2007 I was in a party with my college friends, we had too much to drink, and when the party was over I went to the car where my drunken friend was driving. He crashed the car. Three friends died that day and I broke my back, now I am a T4complete paraplegic. I cannot walk nor feel anything below the injury, I need a wheelchair to move. I was devastated with this huge lost and I didn't want to accept the reality, I even tried to kill myself. I wrote those poems as a rehabilitation exercise, you can see my mood swings and acceptation process, still a work in progress. I hope some day science will give me back the use of my legs or at least make the world a little better for disabled people.)
Every Day
it's morning, the room is already full of sunlight
outside birds sing in harmony
people cross the streets in hurry
and I'm still in bed
I'm awake for a few minutes now
but I didn't stand up yet
my legs won't help me do what depends on them
they are dormant in a deep coma state
unsuccessful try to wake them up again
they look atrophied from the lack of use
skinny for the muscle loss
indifferent to the world
I cannot stay here all day long waiting for a miracle
I look to the weelchair beside the bed
I look to my lower body, still apathetic to me
I will not keep this lethargic inertness!
with the arms I put myself on the seat
one leg falls from the bed before I could catch
I know it hurts but I cannot feel the fall
I have to take it by hand and put in place
footrest loaded
hands on the wheels
now I can start my day
without those useless legs
You're a brave lady Sabrina, to be much admired. Bless you, Jerry