Viva Las Vegas! Poem by Professor Poetry Hound

You know how most people have a hard time relating to God?
After all, he's invisible and keeps his mouth zipped, so they have
nothing to go on. Man, it must have been amazing back in the
biblical days when you almost couldn't get him to shut up. He
was always ordering everyone around and proclaiming stuff.
Kind of like Idi Amin, only in a good way.

I wonder what made him clam up. Have you ever thought about
that? I mean, he never says a peep. Some people say he speaks to
them, but they're just hallucinating or trying to con everyone.

If God really wants people to believe in him and worship him and
pray to him and all that, then I think he should appear to the world
as a revelation in the form of something that everyone is familiar with:
Elvis! Sure, why not?

If nothing else, it will be a new dawn for biblical merchandising.
Instead of the old crappy 'Jesus is Lord' bumper stickers, you'll start
seeing stuff like, 'I'm All Shook Up...for Jesus' or 'Don't Be Cruel to
a heart that's true...for Jesus.' More merchandising means more money
in the bank of the churches, which means more money available to
be spent on recruitment and that means more people joining churches.
And that's a good thing, wouldn't you agree?

So if God has a head on his shoulders, he'll stop lolling around and get
to work preparing himself for an Elvis visitation.