Stephan van Pinksteren

I'm sensitive when I write rhymes,
And with my head in the clouds.
It happens sometimes.
...

Deep down inside,
I feel evil in me.
It's so hard to deal with,
I only want to be free.
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Friendships were made,
And lovers were found.
But the one you know isn't me.
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Taking my body was the first mistake,
Tearing It apart was the second.
Oh please depression go away,
So I can be free one day.
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Betrayal, rejections.
They are so a like.
They corrupt people,
Like infections.
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Have you ever been lost,
Totally cut off from reality
Have you ever sensed a deep dark void.
Because that’s my specialty.
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Take me to a place,
A place where it doesn't snow.
Where the sun shines brightly,
With it's magnificent glow.
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To express my feelings,
It's to hard for me.
No one I can trust.
Nowhere else to be.
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I have no future,
I have no life.
No goal to clear,
No reason to stay alive.
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Love isn't paradise,
Love isn't pretty.
Please be wise,
Don't do it like me.
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Meaningless in every way,
Trying to figure it out.
The one reason for me to stay,
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Time and time again,
I get to this place.
When there is no return,
Where I can't see her face.
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My body is weak,
My heart is broken.
My mind messed up,
My soul unspoken.
...

I wish I could be that,
I hoped that someone could show me the way.
But I'm better of dead.
Or at least gone far and far away.
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There is a big void in my heart,
Empty and nothing to find.
Once it was full with love.
Filled with someone so kind.
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Every time I look at her,
Even if it's only a picture.
My breath stops and my heart pounds.
I being wrecked by those horrible sounds.
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I feel myself locked up,
A prisoner of my own mind.
I'm trying to get out of here.
Looking for an exit I won't find.
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When you left,
I felt no relief.
I'm alone with my loneliness,
And reunited with my grief.
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Lost in a world of pain
Nothing to comfort me.
No victory's to gain.
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Dark clouds fill the uneasy sky,
And all the beautiful sunlight is gone.
In a world where birds don't fly
Where I've waited so very long.
...