Ode To A Nightingale
My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:
'Tis not through envy of thy happy lot,
But being too happy in thy happiness,---
That thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees,
In some melodious plot
Of beechen green, and shadows numberless,
Singest of summer in full-throated ease.
Duino Elegies: The First Elegy
Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the angels'
hierarchies? and even if one of them suddenly
pressed me against his heart, I would perish
in the embrace of his stronger existence.
For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror
which we are barely able to endure and are awed
because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
Each single angel is terrifying.
And so I force myself, swallow and hold back
the surging call of my dark sobbing.
Inspiration
My pen is poised, what shall I write,
The mind is 'dark', it needs some light,
Some 'inspiration' would be enough
To trigger the fingers and do a rough
Transcript of thoughts which might be pleasing,
But somehow at present, I'm into squeezing
My brain, to think up a suitable start,
Why aren't I a person who's 'grey matter' is smart,
When out of the blue a sentence appears,
The brain reacts and the numbness clears,
Elegy I
Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the angels'
hierarchies? and even if one of them suddenly
pressed me against his heart, I would perish
in the embrace of his stronger existence.
For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror
which we are barely able to endure and are awed
because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
Each single angel is terrifying.
And so I force myself, swallow and hold back
the surging call of my dark sobbing.
My Loud Solitude
Why there are some people who could hear you a thousand words and still not understand you? ...
A big question that blows my mind.
How can you think without thinking?
Feeling without feeling,
Can you just imagine that?
A happy heart, intertwined with your sad soul.
A weird feel...
Loving of being alone sometimes,
But couldn't embrace the solitude;
I love my music so loud,
Comfort In Pain
I was lost in numbness for years
I was running from pain
but then I became trapped in the freezing darkness
where I was constantly numb
I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all
pain with out reason
pain without cause
pain without love
it was all better then being numb
I am sick of feeling numb
! The Voyage
Just the day,
comes,
with an iron will,
the way to conquer the passions,
standing strong for the will,
droned by half hearted gestures,
and sick blood,
heated to warm,
inhabiting the frozen hope,
Clenched jaw,
Till We Are At The End Of Horizon
This numbness I have from the winter
Lock the coldness on my skin
To be felt and to forget the warm
As if fire never exist
Cause heart to grief
How long it can control,
Not forever
Once the trail of hope will return
It'll be like a spring that change
Comfort In Pain (Redone)
lost in numbness for years
running from pain
trapped in the freezing darkness
constantly numb
pain is better than nothing at all
pain with out reason, a cause, or even love
is all better then being numb
trapped in a world of numbness without a reason
show me a world I understand
pain is all that I have known
Lust For Life
Discontented heart and a restless soul,
unaware i was of my goals.
Alcohol, cocaine, hashish and grass
transformed me to a creature crass.
They pervaded the blood in my veins
squandered me to world obscure,
where enlightenment was feign.
There, euphoria didn't differ from pain.
A drizzle felt like deluge, a whisper like roar.
On The Dentist's Chair
I sat on the dentist’s chair
With an aching tooth, feeling hell
The dentist seemed quite pleased
As he opened my mouth and surveyed
‘There are holes to be filled
And the plaque to be removed
It needs a few sittings
At the end, you’ll have a set of fine teeth’!
In Your Heart My Love Reside
Silence knocks the door of the night
Wave of coldness felt, cannot hide
Solitude blew frozen kiss, desire for love inside
Be strong my heart, to carry love inside
Loneliness tried conquer this heart slowly
Numbness whispering onto me gently
I need temporary place for my love to reside
Save my love, while protecting my heart
Need to find true home to keep your pride
Repining
She sat alway thro' the long day
Spinning the weary thread away;
And ever said in undertone:
'Come, that I be no more alone.'
From early dawn to set of sun
Working, her task was still undone;
And the long thread seemed to increase
Even while she spun and did not cease.
She heard the gentle turtle-dove
Ode On Venice
I.
Oh Venice! Venice! when thy marble walls
Are level with the waters, there shall be
A cry of nations o'er thy sunken halls,
A loud lament along the sweeping sea!
If I, a northern wanderer, weep for thee,
What should thy sons do?--anything but weep
And yet they only murmur in their sleep.
In contrast with their fathers--as the slime,
Fire Starter
forever young in my heart and always numb in my brain
im always wearing youth on my sleeve
hoping 1 day i can get this numbness and strain to leave
as never ending passion burns throughout my soul
the darkness above begins to take its toll
never ending rains
loneliness and pain
start to seap into my veins
my blood turns black and so with it my heart
HOPELESNESS AND SHAME! ! !
(01) - The Dead Who Have No Rest
It is an unholy appetite-
A desire, some say,
Born of Satan himself.
The Roaring Lion,
Out for men's blood.
But it is deeper, for me,
I who must live every day
With this desire in my flesh.
I live, as human as any,
Rhyme Royal Or Rime Royale - 9
(Rhyme Royal Or Rime Royale - 9)
Then, many times I have passed this area
Many times I have smelled yellow flowers
Many times I have heard the *papia,
In shivering cool, mists, fogs of winter
Looks stagnant, paralyzed and languor;
I have seen human comforted in haze
In the dead wintry nature of numbness.
Winter Woes
Coldness of winter
And your silence
Both sting the skin of my solitude
Coldness of winter
And the fate of love
Both weaken the roots of my hope
Coldness of winter
And the numbness of words
Nothing Of Me
There is nothing left
It has all been stripped away
All except for my tears
And the memories that you've left me
My heart's been torn apart
Where it was is now an empty void
I'm now alone in this impenetrable space
Crying naked on the floor
My tears won't stop falling
They pool all around me
I Can'T Believe Them
did they really think they could just take it all away
with just one word
did they think I would not fight
do they really think I gave a shit what they thought?
can they really be that stupid
do they really want me to be unhappy for the rest of my life?
cause that is what would happen if I listen to them
I can't believe it
I’ve suffered for 4 years
I now found happiness