Smoking, drinking, biting nails,
Common habits and addictions,
The ones everyone thinks of.
But what about another,
...
How can I learn to forgive,
Something that broke my heart.
How can I learn to forget,
All the pain and suffering I endured.
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Depression, loneliness, pain, rejection.
The feelings of a high school student,
A student with few friends,
And no best friends.
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Every minute that passes by,
I can see the drops of blood fall,
The running river that flows down my arm,
That spreads out across my hands,
...
Morning, lunch, after-school hangouts,
Long phone calls into new morning light.
Butterflies in my stomach rise to my heart,
Which beats hard through everyday and night.
...
When will the pain die down,
Just enough to allow time to sleep.
When will the hurt fade,
To allow me to relax.
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The pain grows every minute,
And I grow tired of keeping it at bay.
I want the pain to flow from my arms,
I want the pain to leave my body,
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Thinking of you,
My heart beats faster,
My mind whirls,
I get lost in space,
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Too many temptations,
Too many ways,
To take my life,
To give myself pain.
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Hours of crying and worry,
Long minutes of pain and hurt.
Waiting every second for the one sign,
That shows everything is okay.
...