christina clemente

MY FIRST TIME WAS SPECIAL ALRIGHT
HE MADE ME FEEL SPECIAL.
HE MADE ME SMELL SPECIAL.
THERE WAS BLOOD DRIPPING FROM MY INNER THIGH AND ON HIM.
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I WRITE FOR ME.
I WRITE HIM.
I WRITE FOR THEM.
I WRITE FOR THE INSLAVED CHILDREN.
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To the man my heart aches over i want to take the time to say thank you.
Thank you for the sleepless nights
Thank you for the non-stop crying episodes i have to deal with on a daily basis
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In my life war is yelling at each other, calling each other stupid for no reason.

Not that there is a reason in the first place.
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HE USED TO HIT HER IF LIFE DIDN’T GO AS HE PLANNED.
HE USED TO LOVE HAVING SEX WITH HER.
HE USED TO LOVE TO GET HER PREGNANT WITH HIS DAUGHTERS HOPING FOR A BOY AND SIX DAUGHTERS AND FOUR ABORTIONS LATER HE REALIZED HE DIDN’T WANT HER.
HE DIDN’T WANT HIS DAUGHTER’S MOM.
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You've struggled to be the best version of you.
You've been through so much over the years to forget.
Wham! ! ! It hits you like the smell of urine baking on NYC summer streets.
He's here and he knows who you are now.
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It's been a long time since I've seen this side of you.
It's the side no one likes.
The one that scares me.
It's been a long time since I've seen this side of you.
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I hate what ifs.
What if we stayed in contact?
What if we went out?
What if we were meant to be?
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I HATED IT BECAUSE IT WAS SO COMPLEX
I HATED IT BECAUSE THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMEONE EAGER TO TRY IT IN THE CLASS.
I HATED IT BECAUSE THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMEONE TOO IGNORANT TO PAY ATTENTION TO IT CLOSELY.
I HATED IT BECAUSE I COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND IT.
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YOU KEEP SAYING THAT YOUR SORRY AND IF THERE IS ANYWAY TO HELP YOUR THERE BUT ITS NOT THAT EASY.
YOU CAN SAY YOU DON’T MISS ME BUT YOUR TOO BUSY.
TOO BUSY TO REALIZE THAT WHAT YOUR SAYING IS KILLING ME.
I CARE A LOT ABOUT YOU AND ITS MORE THEN YOU KNOW.
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THE TEARS I FEEL ARE ROLLING CONSTANTLY DOWN MY FACE.
HOW COULD I HAVE LOST THIS RACE.
I WAS SURE ENOUGH TO WIN AT MY PACE.
BUT SOME HOW I DIDN’T FIT HIS TASTE.
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I AM A BIRD THAT CAN NOT FLY.
I AM A BIRD THAT’S SHY.
I AM THE INJURED BIRD YOU WALK RIGHT ON BY.
I HAVE ONE WING AND THE COURAGE TO SING.
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AS I LAY DIEING IN THE BLISTERING COLD, I NOTICED YOU.

YOU HAVE A WAY OF PUTTING ME DOWN AND FORGETTING ABOUT ME.
I'M NOT AS EASY AS YOU MIGHT THINK.
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HE TAUGHT ME A LESSON THAT YOU CAN NOT WAIT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NO INTENTION OF SHOWING UP.
NEVER CRY FOR THOSE WHO DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU’RE FEELING
IF YOU DO YOU’RE NOT HURTING THEM.
HE TAUGHT ME THE LESSON THAT I SHOULDN’T CRY FOR HIM.
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I WANT THAT TYPE OF LOVE THAT CAUSES BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH
I WANT THAT TYPE OF LOVE THAT NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT
I WANT THAT TYPE OF LOVE THAT CAUSES YOU TO QUESTION IF BOYS REALLY DO HAVE GERMS.
I WANT THAT TYPE OF LOVE THAT MAKES YOU WONDER IF LIFE CAN GET ANY HARDER.
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To the one behind me you’re the most amazing person i have ever met.
To the one behind me i’m glad i met you.
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I’m just sitting here with my mind crowded with thoughts and ideas.
Can’t seem to sleep much lately and i’m not sure why.
Can it be from the constant yelling i hear?
Or is it from constantly trying to impress you?
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It’s that time of the month again, no that time of the month.
It’s time to pay all of your bills especially the rent.
You come up with excuses that might sound real enough for others to believe.
The more you think it through the more you start to believe it yourself even though you know it’s as far from the truth as the next.
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