John Carter Brown Poems

People talk of a certain thing
As being an Institution,
But what exactly is this thing?
I offer my definition:
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Received Pronunciation is a nonsense
A subterfuge, a con, a trick, a scam;
A ruse to keep the riff-raff from the party,
It's nothing but a clever social sham.
...

Margaret Thatcher died today
She used to reign in number ten;
The news went on and on and on...
I hope she doesn't die again.
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There was a young model from Ealing
Bereft of all passionate feeling;
Her problem was this,
She just couldn't kiss,
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Why do all the joggers keep jogging
(The old ones I mean, not the young) ?
In their flash Lycra-fitting accessories,
By the fit-bug it seems, they've been stung.
...

There is a young man named Obama
Who thinks of himself as a charmer;
He is tall, and is thin
But has got himself into
...

When life is a bummer,
A drag and a tease;
When you can't even see
The wood for the trees;
...

Let me lie in my bath
Let me soak in the heat
From the tip of my head
To the toes of my feet.
...

A clever young man named Navid,
A Karate recruit of great deed,
Was full of youth's bloom
And would dash round the room
...

There was a young lady named Jen
Who saw, on a visit, Big Ben;
She climbed to the bell
Which ached every cell
...