John Carter Brown Poems

It's no fun when you're lacking in stature
When your body's deficient in height;
When your nickname is tiny, or shorty
Why, it keeps you awake half the night.
...

There once was a girl from Caerphilly
Who's clothes were all lacy and frilly;
They were poor insulation
It was no preparation
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Apple pie and custard
Sitting on the table,
All I have to do is eat my meal
And I'll be able
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My wife says I'm not romantic,
I don't suppose I am
I think I'm just an average bloke
Doing the best I can;
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Why call them 'little children'
As we have from days of yore?
Surely better to say 'little adults'
No need to reduce them more.
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There once was a Dr Dalrymple
Who tried to keep everything simple;
With a touch of his 'scope
He gave everyone hope
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There's really no such thing as 'proper' music
You either like a piece, or not;
The need for deep analysis is pointless
The end result of which would tell you what?
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As the draught blew in
Underneath the ragged-edged door, and
Gales raged outside,
Upturning the garden furniture,
...

An old fitness instructor named Mike
Went out one fine day for a hike;
But his legs felt like lead
Thus the poor fellow said,
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Just another day
At the office, and
Not one single person actually
Used the copier
...