John W. McEwers

Freshman - 948 Points (6/20/1980 / Nova Scotia, Halifax)

John W. McEwers Poems

161. Hygiene Is Important 4/3/2016
162. I Am Still Maya Angelou 8/29/2015
163. I Couldn'T Win A Hot Dog Eating Contest 2/3/2012
164. I Did That Already 4/3/2016
165. I Got 'Em Drippin' 8/29/2015
166. I Had A Scion 8/29/2015
167. I Had This Big Thing That Happened On That Day 8/29/2015
168. I Have A Lot To Offer You 2/4/2012
169. I Know Where Woman Lies 4/2/2016
170. I Once Ate A Bowl Of Soup So Hard I Broke A Tooth. The Dentist Couldn't Even Cap It. I'm Told To Floss Every Time, But No One Does. Why Would John? 4/2/2016
171. I Only See Him On Wednesdays 4/12/2010
172. I Should Have Been Named Stan 8/31/2015
173. I Spin In Public 2/3/2012
174. I Stand For World Peace 7/26/2014
175. I Tried To Learn To Juggle 2/3/2012
176. I Want To Eat A Porpoise 2/4/2012
177. I Watch It Cause I Like It 8/29/2015
178. I'D Be Embarrassed, But She Was Like An Eight-And-A-Half 3/7/2013
179. If 1 And 2 Were Equal 2/1/2012
180. If I Could Only Love You 2/1/2012
181. If It Burns, Flow Sweet Water, Flow 4/12/2010
182. If Life Was A Child Its An Orphan 4/12/2010
183. If Only You Loved Me 4/12/2010
184. If You Loved Me, You Would. 4/16/2010
185. If Your Smile Said Something Grand 4/13/2010
186. I'Ll Touch You Like He Won'T 2/3/2012
187. I'M Kinda Rather Impressed With Keg Man 4/13/2010
188. I'm Slower On Stairs 3/25/2016
189. I'm Writing A Poem 4/2/2016
190. In Washington 2/4/2012
191. Insults, Tiny And Polite 2/4/2012
192. Interview With A Dead Man 2/1/2012
193. It Might Surprise You 2/3/2012
194. It Should Have Been 4/16/2010
195. It Was Onlyyesterday 4/16/2010
196. It's Dark When No One Talks Anything 8/29/2015
197. It's Raining Men 8/29/2015
198. It's The Girth 8/29/2015
199. It's The Mad Cat Slapper 2/3/2012
200. I'Ve Got A Hold On You 2/4/2012
Best Poem of John W. McEwers

Zoology

Mammals lay no eggs outside of their bodies because they lay them inside of their bodies.
Marsupials carry babies around in sacks like babies are groceries from the corner carry-out.
Fish passively lay eggs in giant areas so that just about anything that wants to can attempt to germinate.
Birds make nests.
Where does John fit in?

Snakes leave their skin on the ground because they are comfortable without it.
Trees leave leafs to die around them to fertilize.
Sheep need their wool to be taken from them or else they'll get too hot.
Sharks have too many teeth to ...

Read the full of Zoology

Guilty By Condemnation

Take it in
Poem like vacuum Police
Five—oh, really?
There were, really, five of them.
They ate me. They chewed my pleas
When I said “I”
And I said “Didn’t”
And I said “Kill”
And I said “Her”
And I said “Puppy”

Its exhausting being innocent.

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