John W. McEwers

Veteran Poet - 1,178 Points (6/20/1980 / Nova Scotia, Halifax)

John W. McEwers Poems

161. Hygiene Is Important 4/3/2016
162. I Am Still Maya Angelou 8/29/2015
163. I Couldn'T Win A Hot Dog Eating Contest 2/3/2012
164. I Did That Already 4/3/2016
165. I Got 'Em Drippin' 8/29/2015
166. I Had A Scion 8/29/2015
167. I Had This Big Thing That Happened On That Day 8/29/2015
168. I Have A Lot To Offer You 2/4/2012
169. I Know Where Woman Lies 4/2/2016
170. I Once Ate A Bowl Of Soup So Hard I Broke A Tooth. The Dentist Couldn't Even Cap It. I'm Told To Floss Every Time, But No One Does. Why Would John? 4/2/2016
171. I Only See Him On Wednesdays 4/12/2010
172. I Should Have Been Named Stan 8/31/2015
173. I Spin In Public 2/3/2012
174. I Stand For World Peace 7/26/2014
175. I Tried To Learn To Juggle 2/3/2012
176. I Want To Eat A Porpoise 2/4/2012
177. I Watch It Cause I Like It 8/29/2015
178. I'D Be Embarrassed, But She Was Like An Eight-And-A-Half 3/7/2013
179. If 1 And 2 Were Equal 2/1/2012
180. If I Could Only Love You 2/1/2012
181. If It Burns, Flow Sweet Water, Flow 4/12/2010
182. If Life Was A Child Its An Orphan 4/12/2010
183. If Only You Loved Me 4/12/2010
184. If You Loved Me, You Would. 4/16/2010
185. If Your Smile Said Something Grand 4/13/2010
186. I'Ll Touch You Like He Won'T 2/3/2012
187. I'M Kinda Rather Impressed With Keg Man 4/13/2010
188. I'm Slower On Stairs 3/25/2016
189. I'm Writing A Poem 4/2/2016
190. In Washington 2/4/2012
191. Insults, Tiny And Polite 2/4/2012
192. Interview With A Dead Man 2/1/2012
193. It Might Surprise You 2/3/2012
194. It Should Have Been 4/16/2010
195. It Was Onlyyesterday 4/16/2010
196. It's Dark When No One Talks Anything 8/29/2015
197. It's Raining Men 8/29/2015
198. It's The Girth 8/29/2015
199. It's The Mad Cat Slapper 2/3/2012
200. I'Ve Got A Hold On You 2/4/2012
Best Poem of John W. McEwers

How To Tie A Tie.

Before we even start
have that tie in your hand.
this won't work
unless you commit.

Grip it tight, wrap the ends
around your fists
hold it like a garrote,
pretend she's in front of you
gagging like a duck stuck
in one of those pop can rings.

When the blood vessels
bursting obscures this mirage
go ahead and loosen your grip
Smooth out the wrinkles
you've no doubt created
and carefully, round your neck,
drape it.

Leave just enough hanging
to maybe, possibly, tie up a noose,
swing the fat side over,
then remember how ...

Read the full of How To Tie A Tie.

The Sunshine In Winter

There is none.
I live in the noth
-ingness of the holes
Of my teeth.
They are floating, my teeth

On nothing
-ness.

And when will the sun shine rise again?
I fear never.
Never, I fear.

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