The Englishman And The Cowboy Poem by Bill Simmons

The Englishman stepped off his pony
With a look of scorn as though somehow disgraced
He walked right up to the cowboy
With a glove slapped him across the face

The cowboy said, 'Are you out of your mind? '
'I should fill you full of holes! '
The Englishman said, 'It's your horse sir! '
On my foot, it bears it's poe!

The cowboy said, 'Well, I should shoot you for that
But I don't know what that is! '
The Englishman said, 'In your language sir,
On my foot your horse took a whiz! '

The cowboy laughed and said, 'You are right,
You must have been standing on his right side
He can't help it, born with a crooked wee
You lucky he didn't get your eyes! '

The Englishman reached again for that glove
The cowboy said, 'I wouldn't try again that luck
Now, I'm sorry about that shoe of yours
But around here we shoot you for such

I've been in the field for at least six weeks
Tending cattle out in the fields
If you really want me to shoot you over my horses wee
Just slap me again and I will! '

About that time a shot rang out
Across the street a bank robbery was taking place
And that old horse had already stretched out to relieve himself
When he did he got all them robbers right in the face

Like a fire hose he hosed them robbers well
They would slip and fall and get up again and again
The Englishman and cowboy looked on and laughed
At each other they smiled and grinned

The sheriff and his posse came and they said
'Which way did them robbers they go? '
The Englishman still laughing pointed his finger and said
'Just follow that smell and you'll know! '

The Englishman and cowboy laughed so hard
That tears just rolled from their eyes
Then the Englishman stood up
Offered his hand to the cowboy and said
'You are much and quite a surprise'

'It seems I owe you an apology sir
And I've learned a thing or two today
It appears to be, when a horse with a crooked wee
Needs to pee...
It is best to stay clear of it's way!