(1) Sister Elizabeth Poem by Uriah Hamilton

Sister Elizabeth,
the old gods have failed me,
for seven weeks,
I have prayed only to you.

I've been so heartsick
and in tears,
drifting down lonely streets
beneath a hemlock moon,
nothing seems familiar anymore,
nothing I can call home.

Utterly abandoned,
utterly alone
gazing at strangers
for consolation
but being turned away
like a tax collector or a salesman.

Remembering a thousand conversations,
words I spoke softly with kindness to you
but lingering even longer
on any cruel or inconsiderate nuance
that I allowed myself to breathe into the air.

Now, seeing your face in every window,
hearing songs you sung
before your voice was stolen,
tasting the same candy
you kept in purses or beneath your pillow
before you became a creature
unable to swallow,
drinking from the same coffee cups
from which you must have prayed
and gave thanks before you drank
the years before your death
when still you could hold
such feather-light utensils.

Mother, how can I remember
all of these things and more
and not weep in the sleepless night?
how can I be acquainted with your heart
and know the people you fed
and then see you unable for three years
to eat a single morsel
and not desire my own grave?

How can I contemplate
ever sleeping on a bed again
recalling taking your bed apart
and removing it for a hospital bed
as my dying father watched me
with his own affection and concern?

How can I remember your tears
when a speech pathologist told you
there were no therapies to save
your ability to speak
and any longer place any value
on my own words I once cherished?

The nights hearing you call your mother
in your sleep,
the morning waking thinking your sister Lola
was in bed with you,
your niece Connie who was my age
but remained with you as a child angel
before she perished two weeks before you,
the nights we got up in the middle of the night
because you wanted to cook
for your late husband or father,
how do I survive all this, Sister Elizabeth?

Truly, the old gods have failed me
and my prayers are just to you.