A Blinding Flash Poem by CHARMAINE SIMPSON

If you love someone is it supposed to hurt?
Why does love always bring so much sadness?
Split seconds flash before my eyes
As momentary as the click of a camera
If you are not ready or just unsuspecting
Love will come out of nowhere
It will capture you in a flash of light
For a moment it illuminates your smile
Captures it –
Captures you
Captures what you are holding safe in your heart
The light so bright it was blinding
Suddenly exploding into a million pieces without warning
I am left standing alone in the dark

It is now over
I stare into the picture I am left with
This is not the vision of love I had once dreamt
I am able to now see not only the moment caught up in love
I can see the negative filmstrip that captured the picture
All of the hidden dark lies are now obvious
This picture tells my story of love
If you look closely you will see it written in my eyes
Here you will find the small hidden entrance to my soul
You will now see why my heart is so heavy
It is holding the weight of so many deep scars
You will now see why I fear to be touched by another
It is my internal body that wears bruises black and blue
Clearly Visible against the deep red of my bleeding soul

I loved you
You used your fists and left your mark on my skin
Did this love me in return?
I cared for you
You used your hands to hold me violently against my will
Was this your way of caring for me?
I adored you
You threw me down in anger forcing yourself upon me
Was this how you chose to adore me?
I committed my life to you
You - abused me.

July 22nd 2006