A Letter Dreamed Poem by Shaakiera Schroeder

A letter dreamed

(I had a dream and in it I dreamt of AADILLE and the words of this poem loosely scribbled in an exercise book….not exactly – but mostly of what I remember.)

My dear family and friends ….

The days are racing by, but as the months and even years hasten pass…
I look to you and the tears still wet your cheeks…
Trails burnt into the skin …from the ever -flowing….
Constant pain….an ache…so deep_
A void, in the shape of me…
You hold me responsible for…
The unbearable pain blamed on me….
Makes you angry ….SO ANGRY…
You can’t see,
I’d never leave you…
NEVER…if the choice was left to me!
Id never say goodbye…
I’d stay with you until the end of time.
However I had to go away ….Theres nothing I can say…
Except pray …pray that you know I am okay,

SHAQO my sonny all you have to do is look inside your heart; there you will find me,
Guiding you, like from the very start.

OuMa JEN I know its sore…simple things like unlocking your door…hurts you more deeply then anyone can fathom.

POPS you think you have to be strong….you miss me and know I miss you too…so much…but Shaqo and moms need you to be weak with them…they need to know its okay to cry…share each others tears….so you can start healing!

MAMA… my crazy moms…
A beautiful lily alone in this insane world.
I see you struggle to survive the day...
I see you cry…almost everyday.
I wish you could see me….today….yesterday
Where I am there is no pain.
My only sadness is watching the battle…rage inside you!
I know you mad, but its life’s way.
I am there….i will always be right beside you….
Close your mind….open your heart mama…
Feel me!
Know that there will never be a moment that I will not care, and although you feel painfully alone …
Love surrounds you….accept the solace of a friends’ arms.

To family and friends thank you…
Thank you so much for helping my ma keep my memory alive.
Its feels like I have never left and it’s so awesome to know I have so touched so many lives….
Please know every one of you have touched me in some way or another.
The support you have shown my family brings me comfort like you can’t believe.

Smile and live life joyously and
In that laughter I am ALIVE!
I love you all…
Remember me in your mind and in your heart
Carry me …in your…spirit!
I am trissen…and need you to be too!

HONOUR ME…..SMILE! ! ! ! ! !
ADZO!

Shaakiera Schroeder
09/06/10