A Mother's Hate
Why she hates me the way she does, I dont know.
All I've ever tried to do was be this 'perfect daughter' but all I could, and wanted to be was me.
I can see the hate in her eye's everytime she looks at me, and I can hear it in her voice.
The words she says to me pierce my soul, and stabs at my heart. All I ever wanted, all I ever need from her was to feel and be loved.
But I guess she only feels of me, how her mother feels of her, HATE..
A mothers loves is precious, something a person can embrace everytime they feel melancholy or unwanted.
A mothers hate is cruel, and when u know and feel deep down in your heart that your mother hates u, you sometimes feel not even god loves you,
You feel unloved, and unwanted by people who should love you, but really don't
So you're blinded when you find someone who truly loves you...
I now know that someone does love me, and his name is GOD, he's loved me all along and I let the hate from my mother blind me of that.
He's loved me even when I thought I hated him.., I dont know how I could ever hate the only person who's held love for me since day one.
Over the years I've learned that something deep in my mothers heart has caused her to feel the way about me she does now,
So I stopped acting out all for her attention, I stopped hurting and cutting myself only to feel her warm embrace and see if she holds any kindness in her heart for me,
But most importantly I stopped trying to MAKE her love me, I've learned that's something she should want to do, but she doesnt so..
I'm not going to make any one love me who doesnt want to, and I'm not going to search for something that doesnt want to be found anymore(my mothers love) ......
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