Michael Bonilla

Rookie (3/27/1993 / Houston Texas)

Addiction


I was hypnotized and mesmerizing
Through all the love and the lies
Its good and bad
Whatever it was that we had
When we were good it was beautiful
But when we are bad it's awful
I need her for her love but hate her cause the pain inflicted
But I let myself get convicted
I could go through so much hurt
Just to show her what she's truly worth
She was my baby, and I was her squirt
I thought we said 'For better or worse'

I'm addicted to the darkness from my black dove
I'm addicted to my feelings for my angel from above
I'm addicted to the pain or maybe her love
I'm addicted but whatever it is, I can't get enough

Pushed me down into a bottomless pit
Nothing but darkness; had me feeling so powerless
But she's the one that gave me the match I lit
She was the light through all of this
She left me alone cold and weary
Told me you're okay but don't get near me
She stole my heart but at the same time set it free
She's a thief but now she gave it back to me
Not whole, but in pieces
Its a puzzle, now I will have to piece this
I have to because what if she wants it back?
Quit dreaming! She gave up all of that!

But I'm addicted to the joy and pain
I'm addicted because to me its a sunny day with rain
I'm addicted because I'm happy and sad, it's insane
I'm addicted I wish I could but I just can't explain

She made me feel higher than every man wants to see
But lower than no man wants to be
I was running a race with no with finish line
I had to give up because my heart she diminished mine
I was climbing a never ending ladder
I thought if I climbed I would finally have her
She had me feel so close but yet so far
In reality she had me chasing a shooting star

I'm addicted to chasing
I'm addicted to my heart beat racing
I'm addicted when it skips a beat
I'm addicted to her kiss so sweet

The butterflies I have made me float to the moon
But she quit on us so soon
I knew she would bring love into my heart
But did I really question it right from the start?
Was I right? All I wanted her was to prove me wrong
She did and she didn't, damn this took so long
Now I'm here in this position
Without her but it wasn't my decision
She's my heaven and she's my hell
She's my freedom and she's my jail
She's my conviction and she's my bail
She's my greatest success and she's biggest fail

But still I'm addicted to her sweet loving
I'm addicted to her big heart
I'm addicted to us overcoming
But most of all I'm addicted to a new start

Will I ever get that chance, I don't know
Will she ever see all my love, probably no
She overlooked it like I'm invisible
It sucks because with her I feel invincible
She's my drug that I'm addicted to
But she also is my rehab that will get me through
Or maybe she's not and I will have to find another
Maybe we'll get back and she will always be my lover
I tried so hard so I won't have to regret
In the end I guess ill always have the addiction because your favorite high you can never forget
This addiction of mine is stronger than anything, even crack
I'm done for now but keep in mind one little taste and it will be right back

I finally realize what I'm addicted too, thought it over very well
And to this addiction there will never be a farewell
I'm so addicted because how hard I fell
I'm permanently addicted to her dangerous love spell.

Submitted: Sunday, September 29, 2013
Edited: Monday, September 30, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

My love and hate for my ex girlfriend; how I could never let her go.

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