Chitresh Jhawar

Rookie - 0 Points (Jan.6,1994 / Lost in a lost place)

All I Needed Was A Tight Hug...! - Poem by Chitresh Jhawar

The real one which I wrote:

From the onset of my life
where daily my soul cried
for a one who was mine
who would have asked if i was fine
is this enough?
for my life which is rough
from my infancy to now
I want only one thing from everyone but how?
after dealing every situation
after giving any reaction
after crying alone in bed
after being cursed and sad
after getting ready for school
after I was called a fool
after giving my exams
after solving the questions which were damned
after I was awaken hungry
after I was beaten lonely
after I was left alone
after I proposed you
after you said to me NO!
after I was embarrassed
after I was completely depressed
after I attempted suicide
after I was dead but somewhere still alive
All I needed from each one of you was a very very very tight
HUG...!



After reading some comments, I made the following changes for the word, 'after'.


From the onset of my life
where daily my soul cried
for a one who was mine
who would have asked if i was fine
is this enough?
for my life which is rough
from my infancy to now
i want only one thing from everyone but how?
-while dealing every situation
and giving any reaction
-when crying alone in bed
after being cursed and sad
-before getting ready for my school
-for no reason i was called a fool
-after giving my exams
and solving the questions which were damned
-when I was awaken hungry
-after I was beaten lonely
-when I was left alone
-after I proposed you
-on the moment you said to me NO!
-after I was embarrassed
making me completely depressed
-also when I was attempting suicide
and was dead but somewhere still alive
all I needed from each one of you was a very very very tight
HUG...!


Comments about All I Needed Was A Tight Hug...! by Chitresh Jhawar

  • Rookie Kaitlyn Brock (11/18/2011 1:23:00 PM)

    hugs for everyone great writing :) (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Rookie Shadow Girl (7/3/2011 3:29:00 AM)

    another hug sent your way - ha ha u'll get claustrophobic! nice writing - keep at it - SG (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Titiksha Singhal (4/30/2011 9:33:00 AM)

    definately u' recieve a hug frm me...! ! dis poem is full f emotions and precision (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Jessy Villa (12/13/2010 7:51:00 PM)

    i love both of them to me there great sounds like a guy and me if you wana hear the story just ask (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Bongani Welcome (12/10/2010 2:49:00 PM)

    greate job, keep writing u so talented man. keep up. i'll keep reading (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Denise Bekker ~* The Sound *~ (8/6/2010 12:58:00 PM)

    Both poems are much the same, first one appeals to me more. Soul really cries out in the write. Much emotional and spiritual healing needed. Pray your heart be mended with a great big hug! Well expressed; D (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 43 Points Katherine Shaw (8/6/2010 11:43:00 AM)

    I will give you a hug, your poems make me sad: ( (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Briannaa Herman. (8/3/2010 1:01:00 PM)

    I prefer the first poem, but thats just my opinion. I do that in some of my poem also, that may be why, .
    I really like the passion with which you write, i can feel the emotion and pain behind this poem. good job! I enjoyed reading this. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Ginna Yadav (8/1/2010 11:40:00 AM)

    Your poems are filled with great deal of passion which makes them worth reading... however the source of this passion in your life must be disturbing to you. If you are sad and unhappy... try to find a reason to that. We all commit mistakes... God knows I have not a bundle but an ocean full of them, but heck, so what? What's life without our set of sorrows; what are we to laugh on if they are not there? I am certain, you will find people who will understand you; have some faith. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Kelii Rice (7/25/2010 9:47:00 AM)

    After life takes you down, when you stand back up sometimes you need a hug. Hugs make everything better! =) nice poem (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Omar Ibrahim (7/25/2010 5:35:00 AM)

    no i think the anaphoric one is better..that's my point of view..but i think as a poem writer you have to change 'u' to 'you'...and the 'very very very very' in the last verse can be changed to extremely or something like that because it isn't poetic.I found the poem beautiful and i'll go through the other poems..please read my 'forget me not'.
    thanks for sharing (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Jamie English (7/24/2010 6:56:00 PM)

    Hi
    There is no doubt in my mind that this is a masterpiece. I'm torn about which version I like better. Whilst the second is more grammatically correct it loses some of your style. Not only that but the use of the word after gives it a definitive structure and really brings the point across that again and again and again life just keeps shiting on you (Excuse my language!) By seeing the word over and over its like you are physically showing people this.

    Bravo A* look forward to more. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Casey Geiger (5/21/2010 2:50:00 PM)

    I disargree with the other comments. I think the best part of this is the way you used the word after. I think it makes it distinct and original and it should force true poets to think. AFTER all isn't that what poetry is about. Analyze it deeper (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Amberley Rhyne (5/20/2010 9:25:00 AM)

    That was full of truth, I loved it. Congrats(: (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 26 Points Gita Ashok (5/19/2010 7:14:00 AM)

    Enjoyed reading it. Though i must confess, the series of 'afters' made me get a little bit dizzy! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Kieran J96 (5/18/2010 12:30:00 PM)

    nicely written poem. only thing is that i got lost with all the after's. other wise a great poem! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 284 Points Lalitha iyer (5/18/2010 8:52:00 AM)

    Hugging is very infectious my dear, it may lead to many other related diseases which would become chronic and incurable........... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Kyra Skal (5/16/2010 4:44:00 PM)

    This is a cute poem, and I give you a hug. From one poem to another, I must say that the usage of texting words such as 'u' slightly ticks me off. Another, expand vocabulary. Other than that, good job; D! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Theresa Walker (5/10/2010 11:50:00 AM)

    oh wow i like this poem its very nice stay encourage you are good (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Alyssa Lippi (4/7/2010 12:15:00 PM)

    I love this poem, ,
    very very good.
    keep up the good work :)) (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Poem Edited: Friday, January 13, 2012


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