Alone And Lonely Poem by Black Moonlight

Walking alone.
I lift my head and see my friends,
far ahead.
I shout to them.
They walk faster.
My feet stop.
I stand still.
A horrible ache clogs my throat.
I lower my head,
and continue to walk.

At my locker.
I lift my head.
My eyes meet hers,
for a brief moment.
She looks away quickly.
My stomach lurches.
I see her talking with her friends.
She laughs,
I double over.
as if I’d been punched.
I might as well have been.

I’m surrounded by them now.
Their voices echo around me,
it is at if I am not there.
I talk to her,
she walks away.
I stare at him.
He turns,
he looks right through me.

Voices scream at me,
I miss the catch,
I trip and fall,
I’m the last one
at the wall.
Always.
No one wants me.

I set my books down.
A girl shoves them off.
I try a different chair.
Chorus’s of “Taken.” ring out.
The bell rings.
I pick up my books,
I stumble as
someone knocks against me.
My friends
are moving farther.
And farther.
Away.
I look up again.
The room is empty.

Taunts surround me.
Voices jeer at me from all sides.
They push me out of the way.
I try to smile.
They laugh harshly.
A hand shoves me,
I fall hard against a tree.
They laugh harder.

They say they’re joking.
They say they care.
They never see,
that they’re killing me.
I am on the verge of tears.
But crying
would make it worse.
So
much
worse.

I talk normally.
I am an unvarying mask of happiness.
No one knows.
I reveal nothing to anyone,
but when I do.
My back is instantly stabbed.
Hard.
No one knows.

I smile and laugh.
I run to catch up
I shrug off their insults.
I pretend I don’t care.
But when I’m alone.
I cry
Until I’m gasping for breath.
I sit in the dark.
My eyes are red.
My cheeks are tearstained.
I raise the knife.
I want to end it all.

The next day begins.
Whenever someone looks at me
my heart breaks
and I die a little more inside.
And no one will ever know.