Alternative Christmas Cracker Jokes: (Frank Carson Says, 'it's A Cracker! ') Poem by DM W

Q, What do you call an existential crooner?
A. Why Jean Paul Sinatra of course!
Q. What do you call a hard rocking, post - impressionist painter?
A. Vincent Van Halen.
Q. What alternative rock group makes for a dark, moody and miserable Christmas?
A. The Jesus and Mary Chain.
Q. What alternative musical group is popular in the South Pole?
A. The Penguin Cafe Orchestra.
Q. Which alternative rock group do Santa's Elves like?
A. The Pixies.
Q. What poet' s work do beggars tend to ask me for in the bleak mid - winter?
A. Give us a Tennyson!
Q. How does Darth Vader like his turkey cooked?
A. On the dark side.
Q. What lyrical line do you get if you cross an absurdist play with a festive season?
A. 'Walking In a Harold Pinter Wonderland'.
Q. What do you call a classical composer who doubles as a creepy political advisor?
A. Peter' Meddlesome' Mendelssohn.
Q. Speaking of creepy political advisors, what is Dominic Cummings' favourite Christmas song?
A. Why it's 'Driving Home For Christmas' of course!