Am I Fine? Poem by jillian conway

They say it's nothing that i'm just fine,
they don't understand the darkness inside.
Even thinking death, the real words a crime,
they can't control the thoughts in my mind.
I say i'm healed but i don't define,
yes i am healed on the outside but i'm still insane.
I go home with them we all sit 'n' dine,
suffocating inside i'm barley breathing.
Go to my room grab a knife they don't know the sign,
i'm leaving soon i made up my mind, 'i'm done.'
It's cutting away my pain and the bloods coming, i let it shine,
'this is my last cut' i say, 'i promise.'
I take the pills so just wait soon it'll be my time,
i hope the last thing you said was good bye.
As i lay here last breath, tell me again am i fine?