Ambivalent Tease Poem by Brian Arguello

So things wouldn't have It be.
The world and all the storm clouds and all the rain wouldnt have it be.
Neither you or I.
When all I kept from you was what I should have given,
When I'm sure you would have been happy to receive
I played the fool and stayed far.
I watched as the flower, the one with gold and brown petals,
wilt away into another. I wilted.
We all wilted and broke down and spoiled or fermented.

Now, you aren't the bud for me but for yourself.
A trunk of self love creative joy and thoughtful wealth.
And yet you are still my flower only of indifferent garden.
I can't look at you as a mirror anymore.
All that in the mirror I abhor and stick tags and judgements.
Persecution.
That's no place for you.
No place.
I'll keep vigil in this time pass and if you and I are to meet at last,
Please cast a spell too powerful to tell and lead us to heaven, before I plummet to hell.
Craters here and there
And you stroll without such care.
Your hair bounces nimble, dark shaded browns, though light as a thimble.
Your thoughts do play
They don't fray your mind.
While mine bound and gag and drown and drag for days and days — nights without sleep.
Put in a craze. For days. For minutes.
And in it my mind gets limber as yours, like your feet, plant stern and stiff as erected timber.
Not your heart, not your lips did you lend
Though your tongue, with fragmented songs sung, and conversation past midnight long rung.
The twinkle of you in the sky wish me goodnight.
Your lips in the morning kiss me and bid me good mourning.
You leave.
My eye drips as dew off a sieve.
Time drips as dew off a sieve.
You say your wants, then lips seal.
No retrieve no appeal.
Forgive once more my failing the untold unbroken hold of the cold hailing.
Forgive my failing please
As an ambivalent tease.
You the tease.
I the tease upon my knees.