I feel powerless,
I'm paralyzed
Everyone is careless,
That's what I realized
Listening to wise voices,
Even though I ruined all my choices.
But I still walk this road to nowhere
Even though the pain is too hard to bare.
With the sun that descends,
I can't wait to see the end.
With your life that I defend,
Ours will come together to amend.
I liked this one. Especially the end. A good rhythm and good rhymes. Also you missed the 'e' in careless. Just a typical typo. Also try and incorporate the poetic device assonance. Also just try and develop a perfect meter as some words don't go well with others like 'even' and 'though' as it provides awkwardness and disrupts the flow of the syllabic structure. All in all very good poem :) Keep penning brother, you have immense talent. Sincerely, Williams, T.
I really like how you had a good rhyme and rhythm to this, good job Keep writing! Cheers :)
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Interesting concept for a poem. Read mine - Frost Flowers - Adeline