Dead Asleep Poem by Grant Lovell

I lay here,
With the crescent moon
Shining down the window
Mending the pain
As I lay my head on the pillow
I see lost stars,
Fading out of the darkened sky
Crimson tears all of the years
Stream down my face
I feel like I have no place
Remembering why I'm like this
Why I'm still fighting
Puts me down deeper and deeper
Clouds gather around
I scream with no sound
I'm in fear of losing you
It seems like have lost you all along
As if you had been gone
I don't want to have that same feel
Where my love and happiness is immune
Flashbacks of knives,
Cutting throught the veins
Making blood rain
Am I dead or alive?
I've forgotten what life was for
I don't know anymore than I would have before.
All my pathways I've turned to
Have always before my eyes
As if all the words told to me
Had been beautiful lies
Clouds gone away like shadows
Sky still pitch black
My eyes feel filled with sorrow
Bodies seems numb
All this because of him
Not any him, it was you.
All this for what you did
We had it all, but I wasn't good enough
Memories can't be forgotten
Heart is lost within
You cheated on me for some one else
For something less
You didn't say you didn't deserve me
Just thought it was eaiser to run
All the cuts,
They all bust
Losing all of your trust
My crimson tears become ashes
While my heart crashes
Makes me wonder how you truly felt about me
How all the effort and time
Didn't even make to the surface
Of how you wanted it
I'm in a broken song
You've killed me yearslong
Tell me you love me one last time
So I have some hope
That I can cope with
All I think is I'm just a myth
Now its just the cresent moon
All alone, just like me
No one will listen to my heart
They just want to tear it apart
I've given to many chances for true love
I took to many holes through my soul
Lost count on the bandages on my heart
Feeling too many slits on my skin
The pain is my home
Shows me I'm not alone
The rest of the night
I'll close my eyes
Think deep
With the beautiful scars that forever bleed
I fall dead asleep