I lied through my teeth.
When you asked if you'd been good to me.
I said, "sure, yeah, i always got what i need."
And you sat there wasted, and i pretended to breathe.
You binge on the burn
And purge every word.
(Sometimes you even tell me you love me.)
I think you try to prove her wrong when she says you were never a good dad.
You swear up and down that you gave me what i never had.
You didn't leave the house, didnt dip out when things got bad.
But that doesn't mean you were really there. (I'm sorry i was always so sad.)
I couldn't watch you tonight.
Im sorry i left.
I couldn't watch you watch me.
Couldn't watch you fall asleep.
You look dead to me.
The empty cup next to you smelled of misery.
I miss you sometimes.
Sometimes i pretend we know eachother, and i miss you.
I left you downstairs on the couch, drunk, where you used to be when i was small.
And i suddenly feel so damn small.
Curled up in my pink sheets alone.
Praying God would save the day.
(But i died, because all the sunlight went away.)
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem