[another poet] Poem by CAConrad

another poet
apologizes at a microphone
weakening the hull of our ship
if you can't believe in your poems
leave them at home until you
learn to deserve them
this poem this poet
will not apologize
I'm tired of smelling my dead boyfriend
his swimming arms lost to my bed
it hurts to admit I love being alive
I broke and those pieces broke
and those pieces crushed to powder
things to avoid saying around me:
take it like a trooper
stiff upper lip
keep it together
don't let your mouth say these things
don't let your comfort be selfish cruelty
let them shriek
let them sob
don't be
a coward
about love