Awakening - Poem by Ananya Jetley
When is the day I’ll see that sunshine?
When is the time I’ll hear you say?
No inkling do I have of that time,
But for that moment alone I now pray.
My mind wanders beyond these bars,
It seeks the warmth and beauty out there,
I sit and stare, I stare for hours,
I want to seek but I am confined in here.
In that one moment I made a mistake,
And yes for that I must pay,
My life has now been put at stake,
Day after day, bitter everyday.
But I am only human after all,
Will that felony alone define me now?
Is this going to be my final downfall?
From this world this way shall I bow?
No, is what I want it to be,
But that is my desire alone,
His face then flashes before me,
And I am chilled deeply to the bone.
For killing him was my worst deed,
I shall regret it to my dying day,
God knows he deserved it,
But He never gave me the right to take it away.
And inevitably I remember that tender face,
Who had eyes only for her father’s killer,
No anger, no revenge, just a painful stare,
Her countenance reflected my guilt like a mirror.
And then I feel I deserved it,
For her pain I do really understand,
I know it closely coz I felt it,
It was a feeling which made me nearly mad.
He made me so when he killed your mother,
And an animal raged inside me relentless,
I wanted blood for blood, the only step further,
My love fuelled my blind hatred senseless.
It is but a cruel world we live in,
Spurred by love, spurred by its anger,
When we feel right about it deep within,
It turns out to be the biggest blunder.
For I merely caused pain to his daughter,
He suffered only till I killed him,
She suffers which will multiply hereafter,
And that I feel is my biggest sin.
And now that I’ve poured out my heart,
Somehow the path is veritably clear,
While I suffer deservedly as an outcast,
You have to do me a favour, my dear.
I just have this one request for you,
Never more shall I ever want,
Embrace that girl like a sister true,
And keep her forever close to your heart.
It is cruel for me to bend you to do,
A task impossible for both of you,
But it is vitally important you do it,
coz she has something very important to give.
Its her forgiveness that I seek,
For me, for her and for you,
To purge my sins, to reduce her grief,
And it will teach you about the missing clue.
The missing clue to happiness we all aspire,
Yet keep searching in the wrong places,
You will understand once you fulfill my one desire,
The antidote to all miserable faces.
That we should just have love in us,
And be guided always by this pure sentiment,
It engenders a power so unfathomable,
That It creates your life defining moments.
That girl needs love to understand,
She needs it to be strong to forgive,
Or else to hell’s depth I’ll be banned,
For taking her peace while she lives.
I needed love when blinded by revenge,
Needed it to guide me right,
But mistook it to be love when sufficed my vengeance,
Only to find the devil by my side.
You need love to understand all this,
You need love to set this right,
You need love to do what I asked,
You need love to rise to that height.
So I send as much as I can,
I love you my dear, I really do,
And as I see sun setting over land,
I hope my awakening makes you follow through.
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