*back Then* Poem by Trisha Hopkins

Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins
March-15-1994/June-12-2013
Dedicated to my mother Christine Barrek
I love you mom

I remember Back then
When i was a kid
The memories i hold
On everything i did
And the stories my mommy told

Tucking me into bed
Saying sweet dreams love you and don't let the bed bugs bite
Then before leaving the room
She'd kiss me on my forehead
And i'd reply with 'love you and good-night
And before i knew it my dream went into flight

In the morning I'd wake
To the aroma of blueberry pancakes
That only took a little time to bake
As i hold onto my napkin
I watch as my mommy pours the syrup
I take a sip of my juice
From my favorite cup

Asking to be excused to go get dressed
Stopping half way to look at the glisten on the snow
I then go to change the jammies i messed
being messy is not good that i know

Boy to remember everything Back then
Brings goosebumps to my skin
I some times wish i was a kid again
The memories rush back to me when i look at the picture
Held up with a pin
The one you gave me Back Then...

(June-12-2013)

But that was back then
Now all i have is the memory
I try to think of my past
And begin to forget when
The last time we were close
And miss the way my mother was
And the morning aroma under my nose

Now my mother's soul is lost
And my memories are only stuck in the past
She is fighting with herself to live
I wont let my mother lose this fight at any cost
Her husband is the demon
Within her head
Her spirit is gone
He is the whole freakin reason
Why she is not trying
Afraid every night when she goes to bed
That one night she will give up on living
The next day she won't be alive
And that morning I will find her dead

I love my mother with all my heart
I cant even talk to my best friend
Because he forces her to tell him what I've said
In the past few years we grown apart
I want my mother there when i am wed
But that Subject On that I wont try to start

Because i cant trust her anymore
I pray to the lord to protect her with all his might
To keep her safe and out of harms way
Keep her in my children s sight
Let her live another day
Back then is what i can only remember
Its the only thing i can store

I don't want to see my mommy this way
It hurts me so damn much
I wish there was something i could do
To bring the Back then
I want to feel my mothers loving touch
All i ask god please don't let her life end
Because there's still memories to be made
Get her away from the devil that keeps her trapped
The one who controls her like a puppet
Help her before her soul goes completely Dark
Don't let her soul start to fade
And she loses all spark
Before the blackness kidnaps
The only strength she has to live
Is the company of my daughter(s)
I want her to share Back Thens with her grandchildren
Let my mother show them shes strong and smart
This devil let her see she can get away
Help her believe she can win
And from this prison she doesn't have to stay

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