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Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer by Ogden Nash   
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Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971 / New York / United States)
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Born Frederick Ogden Nash on August 19, 1902 in Rye, New York. An ancestor, General Francis Nash, gave his name to Nashville, Tennesee. Raised .. more >>
119 poems of Ogden Nash
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Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer

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  This is a song to celebrate banks,
Because they are full of money and you go into them and all
you hear is clinks and clanks,
Or maybe a sound like the wind in the trees on the hills,
Which is the rustling of the thousand dollar bills.
Most bankers dwell in marble halls,
Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits
and discourage withdrawals,
And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe
betides the banker who fails to heed it,
Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unless
they don't need it.
I know you, you cautious conservative banks!
If people are worried about their rent it is your duty to deny
them the loan of one nickel, yes, even one copper engraving
of the martyred son of the late Nancy Hanks;
Yes, if they request fifty dollars to pay for a baby you must
look at them like Tarzan looking at an uppity ape in the
jungle,
And tell them what do they think a bank is, anyhow, they had
better go get the money from their wife's aunt or ungle.
But suppose people come in and they have a million and they
want another million to pile on top of it,
Why, you brim with the milk of human kindness and you
urge them to accept every drop of it,
And you lend them the million so then they have two million
and this gives them the idea that they would be better off
with four,
So they already have two million as security so you have no
hesitation in lending them two more,
And all the vice-presidents nod their heads in rhythm,
And the only question asked is do the borrowers want the
money sent or do they want to take it withm.
Because I think they deserve our appreciation and thanks,
the jackasses who go around saying that health and happi-
ness are everything and money isn't essential,
Because as soon as they have to borrow some unimportant
money to maintain their health and happiness they starve
to death so they can't go around any more sneering at good
old money, which is nothing short of providential.

Ogden Nash


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Read poems about / on: money, thanks, baby, people, happiness, son, song, wind, death, tree

 
  Comments about this poem (Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer by Ogden Nash )
Click here to write your comments about this poem (Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer by Ogden Nash )
 
  Luke Plant  (7/8/2009 5:37:00 AM)

After 'withm' it should be:

«
But dont think I am against Banks
Because I think they deserve our appreciation and thanks
for eliminating the jackasses who go around saying
that health and happiness are everything and money isn't essential,
Because as soon as they have to borrow some unimportant
money to maintain their health and happiness they starve
to death so they can't go around any more sneering at good
old money, which is nothing short of providential.
»
  Ian Fraser  (3/2/2009 12:11:00 PM)

I wondered if Ogden Nash would have anything fine to say about the credit crunch and although this must have been written just about 70 years ago, sure enough he has. 'Never lend money to anybody unless they don't need it.'
  Douglas Bass  (10/30/2005 1:37:00 AM)

This poem is missing a line or two down at the bottom, between the line 'Because I think they deserve...' and the line 'the jackasses...' It's something to the effect of 'da da da da banks/Who perform an important social function of eliminating the jackasses...' Other internet poetry archives have the same problem.

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