Becoming Writer Poem by Nassy Fesharaki

Becoming writer

Take the pen,
-and the mouse
-head for the
-paper and
-the keyboard,
-screen, monitor.

Want to lead the words to
-kiss surface, make sentence

Feel failing as if I
-am making sort of "Ash"
-Parsi word or Farsi
-or Persian

Kind of food
-watery kind of soup
-without a recipe and in it everything
-as is the Russian Borsch

See myself on surface
-with mass of things, science

Width Axis
-and of length
-later on,
-comes the depth

Not enough
-till arrives
-one for "Time"

Time
Time
Time

This mother of changes
-in knowledge and the shapes

Remember:
- "Of river, no one man
-can cross more than once! "

Easy is to say, write
-not in thoughts; it is right

Time
Time
Time

It changes everything
-all angles, locations
-cell numbers…

Nothing can
Nothing can
Nothing can

Remain same

"No one man can cross,
-same river, more than once! "

I cannot gather words
Cannot write my concern
-keep changing
-and changing
-change
-change
-change

First was of Christmas
-for person whose being
-was surely not the same
- (As is told, and is heard)

Young Jesus was rebel
-before him was a John
- (Who baptised)
-after him
-came many…
-one of them Guevara

The wrong and injustice make "Rebels".

"My dear words and thoughts
-please be my soldiers
-Attention, take orders…"
-I beg them,
-they rebel and head for
-freedom…wilderness…

Some go to the time of
-Charles Dickens

They record the culture
-and search for Christmas
-find nothing but few
-sermon in churches

He wrote, wrote
-stories
-comparing poor and rich
-Jesus's birth becomes
-stature, statue
-some gather around it
-celebrate, celebrate, celebrate

Today though is commerce
Just commerce
Hollywood
Foolishness
With Rudolph and Claus

For merchants advertise
-days ahead, more than month

"My dear words and thoughts
-please be my soldiers
-Attention, take orders…"
-I beg them,
-they rebel and head for
-freedom…wilderness…

Some soar to the space
-encounter the "Alouette"
-Canada's satellite
-its debris rotating round the Earth
-and it is one of tons; example

They come back to my mind
-scared words in shiver
-shed tear and cry
-till they see their friends
-coming of UAE, Libya
- "Slaved-sold are men and children,
-their sisters and mothers abused, raped! "

Together the words mourn
-till arrive with fear
-other ones

Passengers speak of PM of Lebanon,
-in Riyadh; of Yemen's genocide to Bahrain
-slaughtered all of them, murders by the tool
- "Made in The USA", sells Trump.
- (Self imposed chief, master)

"Shit"
"Shit"
"Shit"

Angered-words spit out.

Tears and sadness and mourning turns
-to riot, violence
-they search for Bin-Laden
- "Need new Osama…"

I plea to the words:
- "My dear words and thoughts
-please be my soldiers
-Attention, take orders…"
-I beg them,
-they rebel and head for
-freedom…wilderness…

Some cool down
-some call me:
- "Betrayer! "

I stare at photo of Mohsen
-and recall early days
-when the shah had fled

Lahooti wanted me to lead the
-Guards' forces…
- "Sorry Sir…"
-I told him
- "…it is to be in different uniforms! "
- (meant the Guards' and Air-Force)

Mohsen and brother
-and some of their friends,
-most trained by Yasser's PLO
-took the rein and became
-the leaders and looters…

Confused my writing is as is
-the ash called: "Sholeh Qalamkar"
- (of Iran)
- (same as Borsch!)

I lean back; leave writing
-a sort of strike, rejecting
-but obliged and in need:
- "My dear words and thoughts
-please come be soldiers
-Attention, take orders…"
-I beg them,
-they rebel and head for
-freedom…wilderness…

Some end in the Carl Hall
-storage that once was
-for Avro, De Havilland
-till CASM was closed
-they talk of memories
-Canada, the WWII's history,
-abolished, destroyed and buried

I become volcano, earthquake
-Tsunami with gust, gale:
- "My dear words and thoughts
-please be my soldiers
-Attention, take orders…"
-I beg them,
-they rebel and head for
-freedom…wilderness…

I bow and cry and while wheeping
-hug them and praise them:
- "My dear words and thoughts
-please be my masters
-please help
-I need your attention,
-need your help as borders need soldiers

Be good and generous
Be good and generous
Be good and generous

Help me be a writer
Help me be a writer
Help me be a writer

Have mercy on this poor

I beg you
I beg you
I beg you

Some rebel and head for dawn or dusk
-colourful, they bleed till are lost

Some select to go a different direction
-freedom…wilderness…

Some stay, let me set my head on
-their shoulders

Together we conceive
-a baby in one womb
-think of why we should and
-if is worth trying…
-one questions: "Why should we? "