Behind The Mask... Poem by Rituparna Choudhury

There are no tears in my eyes..
But my heart pains with deep sorrow…
My soul shivers as I
get lost in his thoughts…
And I become insane…

My lips become pale
And my body numb…
I feel lifeless
And I turn dumb…

And then I have to
Make false smiles
And show to everybody
That I am happy
With my life…
With everything…

But nobody tries
To understand
What I feel
How my heart weeps…
How I hide my tears
Behind the mask of
False laughter…

Nobody realizes that
I become so thin and weak…
Everyone becomes half blind-
They admire the roses
But can’t see the thorns that prick…
They simply know
About their own happiness
And satisfaction…
And I get jealous
To see them happy…
Making huge clutters
Of laughter and hugs of joy…

I have nobody to hug
Nor anyone to give love to…
And so I store all my hidden love..
In a corner of my
Silly, poor, lonely heart…

I look at myself
In the mirror…
And find just a blank
Dead soul…
Lost in the labyrinth
Of sufferings and tears…

There is only one thought
In my mind…
And I can’t think of
Anything else…
I have tried hard
To make myself happy
Just like the others…
I try to take others
As an example to happiness
But what amazes me is that….
I can never find…
True happiness…