Best Dream Of The House Poem by Kevin Patrick

Under the castrated light of a Fridays Cheetah sky
I was delivered the foreclosed phizog
Of a cheap discounted lowbrow dream
Resembling a fat man;
Shabby and unkempt
With a thick Italian accent
That was clearly a forgery
Too cover the true aberration
of his balding comb over greasy black hairs,
Singularly retreating
Into the foxhole of his depilated scalpel like
Soldiers withdrawing from a really bad party

His attire was kitsch as vaudeville suit
Checkered square pants with matching waistcoat
Antiquated waistcoat the colour of a Gunny sack
Furnished with a clip on bow tie which said
"Little girls you better run away"


I was scared as Parcheesi
This dream was uneasy
Below par of enmities
Subscript to my pituitary
Thus graciously awakened
I learned to bend rulers
Paying extra in the seviceses
Of positive vibrations


So I took some Metamucil
And drowned in ease of a satin pillow
Keeping a cherry cola outlook
Of my thoughts for meditations
Though over budget to my confidence
Until a clearing dispelled
Too a Four star Retreat
In the heart shaped complexion
Of a girl called Eve
Delicate as lion in
Snow skinned porcelain
With hair black as jet
In a gothic Punk complexion
While pearls gauzed in her teeth
She was a Betty Page pinup
With a waistline shaped V
Composed in black nylon lingerie
That was overrated to her physique
She smiled like angels stampeding from Heaven
Then strolled seductively like a madam
From a burlesque dynasty
Legs flirting with movement
Lecherous teasing Innocence
Towards my trembling body
That I was the candy she naturally needed
Then with a smirk of a sinner
And the pleasures of a saint
She took her delicate naked hands
Embracing me around the neck
Seconds ticked to her Inspection
Her pallid face in coated makeup
Looking evenly into my expression
Saying "Boy you're in for trouble"
Our mortal flesh in unison
Coming closer and closer
I licked the air for her bodies odour
Until she slide her mouth towards my right lobe
Mouth licked anticipation
I felt her breath of cigarette heat
Promising me a fabled teacher
Of the Kama sutra techniques
Then in a voice as sweet as summer
Laced with sensual perversions
She whispered in my ear
With half an inch
"I'll be your carnal mirror
Valentine for the vulgar
Unreserved and uninhibited
Mother superior of fornication"

And then she pushed me
On a mattress and crawled onto my chest
I saw the devil smile
Beguiling with clover dimples
And knew this was the best dream of the house