Both Dead And Alive Poem by Kaai Yuki

I crawl back to my hometown
Not knowing where to go
I'm starting to think I may be lonely
But how would I ever know?

Feeling the darkness that I had faced,
Seeing the smile upon her lips,
I don't remember which thought I had laced
With the lies that led me to these crypts.

Surrounded by so many people
Convinced that I'm just fine
I'm hiding from what feels like evil
A sinner, after crossing that line.

But many of them refuse to believe me,
Though I reassure them that things are not bleak.
Again, another lie, I just can't stop, can I?
The truth is, never before have I felt this weak.

I can't help but enjoy the sensation
Of her soft, warm lips on my cheek.
But it can't be that simple, I've realized.
Why must it be love that I seek?

My hometown is broken and dull, now.
It's hard to tell whether or not it is dead.
But how can I tell what is dead or alive,
If I always feel some sense of dread?

Day in and day out, my entire body shakes;
Overwhelmed with a stressful situation.
What I am wondering, though, if anyone happens to know,
Why have I been chosen for this infatuation?

I'm done with my emotions, my loneliness, my dread;
I'll no longer be passing it around.
If someone can't tell me how it's possible I'm not dead,
Then my cries for help will be cries without sound.